


Awake

by Sheneya



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Dark, Dark Character, Fucked Up, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 11:17:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20814248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheneya/pseuds/Sheneya
Summary: IT'S FUCKING DARK GUYS.





	Awake

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S FUCKING DARK GUYS.

Horatio sighed to himself as the sound of his front door closing behind the other two brought him out of his partial doze. They were both pretty much living with him at this point, and it showed in the way he could hear Ryan stripping off and putting his clothes in the nearby laundry hamper while he quickly finished the last part of the page he made it up to in the book he’d decided to read on his rare day off, he was surprised he hadn’t lost his place during his almost nap.

“It must have been a rough day for them.” He thought as he heard the sounds of Eric rustling up a meal in the kitchen, usually Ryan made dinner.

He let one hand rest palm up against the inside of his thigh as he used the other to unbutton the loose pants bottoms he was wearing. Within moments Ryan’s soft hair was pressed against his resting palm, and he let his fingers curl to massage gently against the other man’s scalp as he began lapping and suckling the quickly growing erection.

Letting his mind drift alongside the haze of pleasure he was receiving, he found it drifting back to when this clusterfuck of a relationship began.

When he’d been woken up in the middle of the night by a nearly frantic Eric begging him to come over to Ryan’s flat… because Eric didn’t know what to do.

They’d been fighting the entire day, even Calleigh’s plans for some team drinks wasn’t stopping them. In the end it wasn’t until she had put her foot down and told them if they didn’t at least behave for the evening out, she wouldn’t forgive either of them that they both settled into quietly seething glares instead.

While he had settled for a single glass of beer before changing to water for the night, Both Ryan and Eric were still seething… and hadn’t seemed to notice they were drinking more than they should.

In the end though… he’d left early so he could get enough sleep before work tomorrow. He’d learn later on that Calleigh and Alexx, both fed up, had just piled Ryan and Eric into a cab together with stern warnings not to hurt each other and enough to cover the fare to Ryan’s house, figuring he lived closer and Eric could sort himself out.

Instead They’d ended up having what Eric had described on the phone to a worried Horatio as he drove to Ryan’s as “Hate” Sex.

It wasn’t until he was inside Ryan’s bathroom… uninvited by the still sleeping man he might add, that he realized what had Eric in such a state… and why Ryan had tried so hard to get out of Calleigh’s little drinks night.

A bottle of painkillers, his drivers license and a razor on the side of the sink… and a tarp lining the bathtub, it looked like it had been bought recently.

“Oh… I thought you’d gone.”

They had both turned at the soft, puzzled voice coming from the still naked man behind them.

“I was just gonna pack it up for later, when it would make things easier for everyone. Can’t do it now, not with Eric’s DNA all over me… too many questions, too much hassle for everyone. Maybe in a week or so.”

Horatio didn’t think the other man was fully awake yet.

“...Ryan… Eric is going to take you back to the living room… I’m… gonna take all this down.”

Almost like he’d only just registered that Horatio was there, Ryan gave him a disturbingly placid stare before nodding and letting Eric herd him out the door.

Anyone who’d met Horatio Caine, would tell you that the man never panicked… Everyone who met him was wrong… he never let himself panic, because for all his alleged poise, panic always made him the world’s biggest dumbass.

After 20 minutes, he’d found where everything needed to go… after 30 he had it all packed away, but it didn’t erase from his mind the evidence of what they knew Ryan had been planning to do that night.

When he went back to the living room, he expected to see a more awake Ryan,perhaps upset that Eric had brought Horatio over, perhaps feeling guilty. Instead, he found an even more distraught looking Eric, who had practically dragged a once again sleeping Ryan into his lap and was clinging to him.

“He said he was sorry I’d found it, it would have been easier… Horatio… Is this our fault? Is this MY fault?”

This was why Horatio should never let himself panic. He should have said no, should have said of course not.

“I don’t know.”

Panic makes Horatio Caine as stupid as the next man. Right There?… Right Then? Might as well have just said. “Yes, we are at fault.” and been done with it.

And he hated the fact that he wouldn’t have been lying if he’d said it either. It wouldn’t have been completely true of course… but… “We are at fault.” wasn’t actually a lie either. They were CSI’s, they were observant… and they’d chosen NOT to see. They’d treated it like Ryan was failing to assimilate, failing to integrate with the rest of the team. Not like he was deliberately distancing himself from them.

They knew the difference… Horatio knew the damn difference.

He was wrenched from his dark memories as he felt Ryan being jostled about slightly, before being moved around and straightened until rhythmic movements began pushing Horatio’s cock deeper into his mouth, until the younger man was swallowing his entire length.

Eric must have put on something that cooks over a longer period of time then.

He let his eyes run along Ryan’s spine, watching the muscles beneath shift and ripple as the other man whimpered, finally the tone shifted from his rounded, very lightly tanned buttocks to the darker, more deeply toned and sculpted abdomen of Eric’s.

He knew if he lifted his head a little more, he’d catch a glimpse of thrusting pelvic bone, dark curls of pubic hair and a hint of the thick length Eric was rhythmically thrusting into Ryan’s needy heat.

Instead he let both his hands wrap around Ryan’s head and gently lift it until he could watch his eyes as the other man continued sucking his cock.

His whimpers where almost continuous now, and Horatio could tell by the increasingly glazed look that Eric had wrapped one of his hands around Ryan’s probably already dripping erection and the other man was ready to come at any moment.

Horatio had been on the edge for awhile now anyway. “You ready baby?”

He barely waited for the almost guttural, affirmative moan before he began actively thrusting into Ryan’s mouth.

He knew if Ryan’s mouth hadn’t been full of him, he still wouldn’t have made any sense, that the only sound he would have made where orgasmic moans, grunts and perhaps a little babbling. Instead it all translated into vibrations that ran along his erection, up his spine, then back down to explode into pulses of come that Ryan swallowed eagerly.

A quick look told him that even though Eric had joined them a little later, he’d come at the same time as them, which didn’t surprise Horatio that much, he knew intimately just what Ryan’s internal muscles could do when he came that hard.

He used what little was left of his strength to haul the two men up onto the couch with him.

“...Food.”

“...Larm.”

“...OK.”

They were quiet until the soft sounds of Ryan’s snuffling little snores rose up between them.

“... God, we’re fucked up aren’t we H?”

Horatio wanted to lie, tell him. “No… we’re fine.”

But the truth was, they’d broken Ryan, entirely by accident, but they’d done it. And he’d broken them in return, by accident. And they’d only been able to fix it… if you could call it such, by shattering it completely, it was better now, but still.

“I can’t do it while there’s Eric’s DNA on me, maybe later.”

“Eric’s DNA… Someone’s DNA… Horatio’s DNA.”

“You’re ours until we can figure out how to make things better.”

“You’re ours until we know what else to do.”

“You’re ours until we can make you not feel like this anymore.”

“You’re ours until…”

“You’re ours.”

“You’re OURS.”

“Just ours.”

“ONLY ours.”

“Always ours.”

Instead he said.

“Stetler again today?”

Eric accepted the answer Horatio couldn’t give.

“Yeah, I think he suspects something, and he keeps targeting Ryan when he can get him alone.”

They don’t talk again, but Horatio knows they’re both thinking the same thing.

Painkillers, a razorblade and a tarp that was never used.

Stetler was a pain and a nuisance, Horatio was a bomb and arson expert and Eric was a water retrieval… and dump expert.

But they weren’t that far gone… yet.

They weren’t that fucked up.

...Yet.


End file.
